Things I learned this week…and last

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”

– Albert Einstein

This week I learned…

…that sometimes I do stupid things.  I know, hard to believe, but true nonetheless.  This week, I beamed myself in the head with my own car door.  I blame the rain – and my vain desire to protect my freshly straightened hair from falling victim to the frizz factor.  What’s the lesson to be learned here?  Making a mad dash from the house to the car through a steady drizzle with my head down doesn’t help me avoid getting wet, it just means I will inaccurately judge the angle of the opening door.  Ouch.

that you will never catch me driving along a rural Norwegian road at midnight.  It seems in doing so, one runs the risk of literally running into a moose – and a bear.  Crazy, I know. However, one unlucky motorist in Norway did just that.  I haven’t written a Man vs.. Beast blog in several months, but I can’t help to think that this incident lends credence to my long standing assertion that the animals are conspiring to take over the world.  Obviously, the moose and the bear were intent on a carjacking.  The question is:  Why?  Perhaps an errand for the Great Whites lurking just off the New England coast?  It bears consideration.  (See what I did there?)

…that the Dead Sea Scroll exhibit at the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary is fabulous.  As one who is enthralled with history, especially biblical history, this exhibit gives incredible insight.  It was definitely worth schlepping an hour or so west, through rush hour traffic, white-knuckle construction zones, and torrential rain.   As I said in a previous blog, my family was wholly uninterested in tagging along.  That’s alright, I bear them no ill will.   I recognized the glazed over look they got in their eyes whenever I mentioned going.   It’s the same look I get when my husband mentions that Dream Theater is in town.   I shudder at the very thought…

…that my daughter is turning into a cynic.  This week, while we were camped out on the living room floor watching the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, a commercial for a popular adjustable mattress aired.  It boasted that 93% of users saw improved sleep.  Out of the blue, my daughter says:  “Sucks for that other 7%.”  Indeed, it does.

…that the war on women continues.  I don’t like to infuse politics into my blog.  I firmly believe political ideology is something that should never be thrust upon the unwilling.  I think doing so polarizes the nation, and breeds hostility and hate.  I believe the same can be said for religion.  I usually make a point to avoid the discussion of both.  Having said that, I’d like to take this opportunity to address something that I find troubling:  The far right’s preoccupation with the mysterious inner workings of the female reproductive system.  I’m not really sure where they received their general knowledge of anatomy, but I’d like to reassure the male establishment that my girly parts (and those of every other woman in America) do not have mystical superpowers bent on world domination.  While I agree, that might be kinda cool, and would perhaps lessen the sting of the dreaded “monthly inconvenience”, it is, in fact, not possible for a vagina to take down nations.

I think it’s time to focus on a more imminent threat to the country’s well being – a broken economy.

On a similar note:  If you’d like to have a good laugh,and have an appreciation for the ridiculous, check out the Borowitz Report over at The New Yorker.  Maybe not for everyone, but I sure do get a good giggle out of it every now and then.

…that classes begin again next week.  As always, I’m filled with a host of emotions: excitement, trepidation, annoyance.  I am taking a freshman level science course this semester.  I’m not thrilled.  Science is one of those things that I could do without.  I understand the relevance, even appreciate its need in molding our young people into individuals who can competitively carry our country into the future.  I get that.  I just don’t want to sit through a three hour lab with said young people.  Does that make me old?

…that a See’s Candies has opened up inside my local mall.  This is bad.  Very, very bad.  But it’s so very, very good.

…that I’ve been nominated for the “Addictive Blogger Award” by Katy Brandes.  I always get a big kick out of these awards.  It’s the narcissist in me, I’m sure, but it’s always nice to receive a bit of acknowledgement from one’s peers.  Thank you, Katy.   It is greatly appreciated and puts a big smile on my face.  And, I’ll admit, found me standing in front of my bathroom mirror channeling Sally Field:  “You like me!  You really, really like me!”

Just kidding.  About the Sally Field part – not about the the appreciation part.  I do sincerely love that you may be addicted to my blog.

As always, these things must be paid forward.  The list of blogs I find addictive is endless, but in the interest of brevity, here are the first five that come to mind:

Cosy Travels of a Viking and his Kitten – a chronicle of European travel highlighted by some truly beautiful photographs.

The Writer’s Advice – lots of writing advice with a sarcastic edge I enjoy.

Word Flows –  lots of writing inspiration.  One of my favs.

Mike Osborn Photo – some great photographs from across the pond.

The Sugarlump – love those cats!

…and last, but not least, this week’s awww moment.  I was going to bring you a fabulous photograph of the Monarch butterfly I saw this week at a local nature preserve.  Unfortunately, I never got a clear shot because my lovely daughter photo-bombed me.  So, in retaliation, this week’s awww moment is brought to you by my mischievous daughter.  Enjoy.

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Things I learned this week…

I learned this week…

…that “yoga for a grade” is the gift that keeps on giving.  I realize that perhaps I am beating a proverbial dead horse with this one, but good grief, in every class something jaw-droppingly fabulous/horrific occurs.  I can’t sit idly by and not write about it.  So, please, bear with me.  The end of the semester will come soon enough.

…that, in keeping with the above theme, my yoga instructor’s idea of a quiz is my worst nightmare.  Last week, she gave us a nifty little handout with elementary drawings of various poses and a listing of their correct names.  We could expect our first quiz the following week [this week].  Okay.  No big deal, after all, this is a “for grade” course.  Grades have to come from somewhere.  So, on quiz day, she comes in five minutes late, disheveled, and lugging a stack of unorganized copy paper.  She proceeds to sit down on the floor, in a graceful position only a seasoned dancer could muster, and pulls out a pair of scissors.  We all sat on our mats staring at her, confused by her odd behavior.  She didn’t keep us in suspense for long.  As she cut a single sheet of paper into thin strips, she leveled the room with a bomb of such magnitude that its reverberation could be felt clear to the Oklahoma state line.  Our quiz, it turns out, would not entail a grouping of pictures and a word bank – as so promised.  It wouldn’t even have anything to do with the handout she provided to us.  No, instead we would be required to demonstrate an assigned pose at the front of the class, with the wall of shame mirrors at our backs.  Holy shit batman, shoot me now.  I count myself as one who came out of this horrifying experience largely unscathed.  While I did receive the dreaded number one slot, I escaped any real humiliation.  My pose was simple – Prayer pose.  However, there were those among us who did not fare so well.   I feel quite certain the girl who was saddled with the dreaded “happy baby” pose is plotting some fantastic revenge.  The glint in her eye at the end of class was downright frightening.

…that today is Dr. Seuss’ birthday.  I did know this, but I didn’t remember until I stumbled across the headline on my favorite news outlet’s website.  Of course, the headline also asked readers to vote for their top pick of Seuss movies.  This kinda irked me.   Dr. Seuss wrote books.  I think it would be a more interesting poll, and one truer to the memory of Seuss’ legacy, to ask readers to give the name of their favorite book.  So, I ask:  What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book?  Mine is And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. 

…that there is a “war on women” brewing in this country.  Though, I can’t help but wonder if it is all just an elaborate smoke screen fabricated to distract voters from the fact that none of this country’s politicians – and I mean none of them – know what the heck they are doing.

…that this week the great State of Texas will celebrate 176 years of independence.   I’m not a native Texan.  I was born in Florida to parents that hail from New England.  My father was in the military so I’ve lived in my share of locations – some of them wildly wonderful, some of them not so much.  Of them all,  Texas is by far the most unique place I’ve ever called home.  I didn’t always feel that way, but once the culture shock wore off, I got a whiff of something in the air – something intangible.  Something that smelled a lot like pride.   There is an independent spirit here that transcends even national patriotism.  Don’t get me wrong, Texans have a deep love for their country, they just love their state a smidgen more.   It’s an infectious thing.   I can’t imagine living anywhere else.   Well…of course, that is unless the American people jump the shark and elect Newt or Rick to the presidency.  If that happens, I’m moving back to Europe.  Texas independent spirit and pride be damned.

…that Davy Jones died.  I’ve long maintained that the 60s produced some of the greatest Rock & Roll music ever attributed to the genre.  I don’t care if you agree with my assessment or not.  I know good music when I hear it.   Now, I will admit that The Monkeys pale in comparison to say…the Beatles, but they are still relevant to the overall cultural phenomenon of the musical era.  Plus, they were just great fun.  Davy Jones will be missed.

…and last, but not least, this week’s awww moment is brought to you by this adorable kitty.  Is he stuck?  Is he stalking you?  I don’t know, but I bet if you venture a little closer, you’re sure to find out.

***Big thanks to Bill Chance for providing me with this link:

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