Yes, yet again, I am running behind with my weekly blog entries. I always have the greatest of intentions. I really do want to get them finished and posted in a timely manner, but sometimes that nagging little thing called responsibility screws up everything. However, I think I have myself back on track – at least until classes start again in mid-January. Then I will try to think up new, more creative excuses for my tardiness.
In the last two weeks, I’ve learned…
…that there is some unknown force that seems to have invaded the brains of the parents at my daughter’s middle school and sucked out all of their common sense. Or perhaps, they are just booger eating morons. I don’t know. Of course, if I had to choose, while the former is more visually pleasing to the writer in me, the latter is likely the most obvious conclusion. I can tell you, though, that it does not require a doctorate in civil engineering to know that there is only one way in and one way out when navigating the carpool lane. School administrators have even been kind enough to paint brightly colored directional arrows on the concrete for those among us who are visual learners. Even so, day after day, these parents just don’t understand that parking in the out lane is counterintuitive to the overall spirit of the intended process.
…that studying for my Western Civilization final too close to bedtime will result in dreams of John Calvin and Martin Luther with a side of Petrarch and Machiavelli. Needless to say, the resulting Renaissance/Reformation mash-up did not leave me feeling well rested at all.
…that the office manager in my former dentist’s office is evil. I’ve never liked her, or the dentist for that matter, but I tend to suffer through such things out of convenience. However, I do enjoy getting back at her in my own passive/aggressive way. She’s a stalker. By this I mean, she will run you down to confirm an appointment or make you that appointment for the 6 month check up you don’t need but they want you to think you need. I like to dodge her calls. It’s become a sport to me. You know, to see how many times she really will call before she gives up. Mature, huh? Well, it backfired on me this week. I dodged all of her “please confirm your appointment” calls and when I showed up for my appointment, she informed me that she had given the slot to someone else. What? Oh, the agony of defeat…
…that the little elf thing parents have resorted to using, in an effort to incite good behavior in their unruly children, is creepy. Really, really creepy. If my parents had done that to me as a child, I would have ended up in therapy, at the very least. With my overactive imagination, I might have even ended up locked in a padded room for insisting that the elf was hiding a big butcher’s knife beneath his pointy hat and had been sent by Santa to murder me in my bed. After all, I did think that there were cobras living under my bed for the better part of a year after seeing a certain Disney movie when I was six. I’m still traumatized by that experience.
…that Asian tacos are pretty tasty even though they look strange with all that pickled cabbage stuff. Thai coconut soup, on the other hand, not to so tasty.
…that it’s just weird to have the FedEx guy ring your doorbell and hand you Styrofoam cooler with a ham in it. For a minute, I thought I’d received someone’s transplant organ by mistake.
…that Rick Perry is a…um…well…hmmm…I find that I have no words to adequately describe my feelings toward the governor of my fair state. Until now, I have remained largely indifferent to him. Well, I say that, but I still hate his guts for that whole HPV mandate debacle. Aside from that, by and large, and though I do like to ridicule his backwater way, I’ve not allowed myself to be bothered by him too much. Most of the nonsense he spews does not amount to much, in the grand scheme of things. Now, I am mortified that he has been unleashed on the nation. It’s kind of like when your crazy cousin Larry shows up uninvited to your wedding and spends the entire night reminding you why he has been permanently banned from all family functions.
…that conquering the elliptical has become an obsession for me now. Let’s face it. Working out can be boring. To stave off the boredom, I set goals for myself. Like: I am going to do X amount of miles today in X amount of time; or I will go until the indicator tells me I’ve burned X amount of calories. One of the biggest challenges with the elliptical is resistance. It’s easy to truck along at a low setting, but I don’t want easy. Up until now, I’ve played it safe and stayed within the level 8 range. This week, I kicked it up a few notches. I started out at level 10. I did a good steady pace for 5 minutes, then raised the level by 2 to 12 and did that for 4 minutes. For the final one minute, I raised the level even further, to 14. Then I started over. I did this for 6 repetitions for a total of an hour. It was awesome. Of course, the next day my body bitch slapped me and reminded me that I am staring down the business end of 40. But it’s nothing a little over-the-counter pain reliever can’t fix.
…that there are 22 days left until the end of the holiday season. Just sayin’.
…and last, but not least, this week’s awww moment is brought to you by this amazing photograph of two baby chameleons. It is, of course, altered but still…