Well, here I sit in my college library screwing with this silly blog when I should be reading Metamorphoses by Ovid or catching up on my Western Civilization chapters on Ancient Rome. I am, however, thoroughly addicted to perusing the internet, searching for gruesome animal attacks and proof that the human race is under siege. Do you think there is something wrong with me?
Don’t answer that. I don’t want your opinion.
So, here is what the animals have been up to:
In Santa Ana, California, a man in a wheelchair had to be rescued after he disturbed a very large hive of bees. Estimates indicate that the hive contained some 60,000 bees! That’s a lot of regurgitated bee spit (aka honey). The man, who fell out of his wheelchair in the attack, was said to have been stung at least 60 times. The attack was so ferocious, it took three bystanders several tries before they were able to rescue the man. They too, were stung numerous times and had to treated at local hospitals for symptoms. You can read more about this story [here].
You might think bee attacks are rare. You’d be wrong.
In Bisbee, Arizona, a 1,000 pound hog (that’s a lot of bacon) and an 800 pound pregnant sow were attacked continuously over a two-hour period by swarming Africanized bees. Their horrified owner helplessly witnessed the carnage and, unsuccessfully, tried ward off the attack. In the end, poor Franklin the hog died. The sow, went into a coma and lost her litter. No word on if she met a similar fate in the end.
In northern Arizona, a man remains hospitalized when he too was attacked by a swarm of aggressive Africanized bees. He was stung over 1,000 times. I am actually very shocked that this man lived.
On the Idaho-Montana border, a hunter was killed by a grizzly bear after he shot and wounded it. The bear was eventually killed, though he didn’t go down without giving as good as he got. To all the
idiotic adventurous hunters out there, I say: this is what happens when we don’t follow the rules. Grizzly bears are illegal to hunt. They are an endangered species. If you can’t tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly, you don’t need to be hunting them. Karma will turn around and bite you in the ass every time. You can read this is story in greater detail [here]. My husband believes these hunters should have employed [this] hillbilly’s way of dealing with large predators. I mean, what animal doesn’t respond to a firm “Git, git!” and a big stick. He also informed me that these guys did not arm themselves with the proper ammo. Apparently, everyone knows, or should know, that if you’re going to go traipsing around bear country, .454 Casull rounds are a must have. Good to know.
In the Sea of Japan, off the coast of Russia, two individuals were attacked – on separate occasions – by what is believed to be the same Great White shark. One man lost both arm from the elbows down; the other suffered a leg injury. I think perhaps a geography class is in my near future because when I read this, I thought to myself: “Russia? Shark attacks? No way”. Way. You can read more about these attacks [here].
And last, but not least, Southern California is dealing with an infestation of the Asian Tiger Mosquito. A nasty little bug that attacks during the day and carries all kinds of equally nasty viruses.
As you can see, the animals have now enlisted the aid of the insects in their quest for world domination. Not only must we worry about physical attacks, but also biological attacks. The tide is turning. I am beginning to feel a little concerned. We may need to start considering our counter-attack options.
**Disclaimer: As always, I don’t wish to trivialize the loss of a loved one under any circumstances. Any loss of life is tragic.